Thursday, September 3, 2009

Escaping the Fog of Confusion

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There’s a book I read a couple of years back by Maria Nemeth titled Mastering Life's Energies. (Incase you are wondering, I am not affiliated with Maria's program.) And it’s also a book I recently sent to a friend who is struggling with the “what now” question. My friend is not happy at work and knows there is something more she is to be doing.

While reading one of her emails, I remembered the book and how it helped me. Then I mailed it to her.

And then as is typical for me, I accidentally ran across an article I wrote for subscribers to my Queen-zine two years ago. I want to share that article with you today.
In 2007, I wrote…

In the book Maria asks us, “Are you willing to live your life with clarity, focus, ease and grace?” Do I see a showing of hands? My hand is up. Yes. Yes. Yes. That’s my plan. For the most part, since writing my first book, I have created an easy life for myself.

Check off ease. But what about the other three?

Let’s take clarity—something I haven’t had for about nine months. Actually, I relate the “derailing” to my juror experience. Let's just say, the experience was NOT a good one. If you are curious, click here:
This turned into an Amazon Short article. It costs .49 to purchase and read.

That’s when the fog rolled in. Living in fog made me do some bad things (got to blame something or somebody besides me, right?). Being confused meant I made commitments I couldn’t keep. I found myself doing something I rarely did in the past. I broke promises. More times than not, what I thought was a new direction was a step off course. I corrected and adjusted, saying I'm sorry as I plodded along, but still I couldn’t ‘see’. Maria calls it “driving in the fog”.

I continued on anyway trusting something that Maria also says, “When you see clearly what is before you, you will know in your heart what to do.”

But first, I stopped making promises. Obviously, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to make commitments. When you are “driving in fog,” you can be misled by invitations that seem exciting, lucrative or safe simply because when fog sets in your intuitive abilities usually diminish. You go after things for “obvious” reasons and use logic to explain why you are doing something.
Using this method gets you to do crazy things like: fall for the “get-rich-quick” scheme, “take-the-full-time-position-because-at-least-you’ll-have-money-even-if-you-hate-it” job, or “you-are-crazy-not-to-do-this-because-you-will-miss-out-on-the-gravy-train” opportunity. While “driving in fog” you are more likely to make bad choices. Period. The End. If you are “driving in fog”, it’s time to cease and desist embarking on new endeavors until clarity returns.

How do you solve the “not-seeing-clearly” problem? Maybe I’m not the best person to ask. :) It took me months to overcome the recent storm. But this storm was different. This time I was not tortured by my old fears of the past like:

1. Can I make or create something?
2. What am I supposed to do with my life?
3. How will I earn enough to eat?

Those are issues, I have mastered and overcome. If you are still hanging around in that territory, it’s okay. You can learn to overcome too. Read books! That’s how I absorbed most of my information. I have a recommended reading list.

If you don't want to buy any of the books, that's okay. Ask your librarian to order them (if they are not in stock at your library). This way others will benefit too and it doesn't cost you a dime.

But I disgress...
Let's return to the original question. How do you resolve the "not-seeing-clearly" problem?
Easier said than done. For most of us, it's about waiting. I usually chalk fog experiences up to bad timing or the need to wait. It can also be caused by not having all the facts or because you are not sure how you feel about something. Basically, you are in a holding pattern as you wait for all the pieces to come together.
So what are you to do? Besides waiting, you spend time contemplating and dreaming. You pay attention to everything that is around you, including your nightly messengers (dreams). And you keep waiting.

Just like most people, I felt frustrated by my lack of clarity. I knew eventually the fog would lift. It always does. But I also realized moving forward wasn't the right move. So, what did I do while waiting? I focused on “present moment” living. And in my spare time I read books. I searched for answers and teachers.
And one day the fog lifted. The day was September 21, 2007.

NEXT TIME…I’ll give you an update on 2009.

P.S. If you want to check out my Amazon Short about my juror experience—you know the experience that kicked off the downward spiral—feel free to do so. They cost 49 cents. I’ve enjoyed reading some of the stories by other Amazon Short authors. It’s a wide offering of fiction and nonfiction. Plus you can’t beat the price!

Here’s the link, if you are interested. I’ve been told by reviewers that it is also a good lesson for parents and children.
Allyn Evans


Carolyn Howard-Johnson said...

Allyn, it doesn't matter if some of us are no longer in this this spot. We can still enjoy. I always enjoy your anecdotal style.

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Reminds me of an exercise I do during my Overcoming Obstacles with SPUNK! seminar. By inviting the attendees to hold out their thumbs, I tell them I am the goal and their thumb obstacles. They cannot focus on the goal if they are focused on the obstacles!

L. Diane Wolfe “Spunk On A Stick”

Allyn Evans said...

Thanks, for the comments!

Carolyn Howard-Johnson said...

Allyn, it's amazing how many great friends I've made by sending thank yous and notes of congratulations. I recommend the process in a whole section of The Frugal Book Promoter. Genuine contacts are what good marketing is all about.

Carolyn Howard-Johnson
Blogging at Writer's Digest 101 Best Websites pick

Terrie said...

Great article! and too funny, I just 'rediscovered' the book yesterday . . .

Terrie said...

Great article! Too funny - just rediscovered the book too.

Allyn Evans said...

Isn't it funny how things work. When I re-discovered this article, it too was by accident. The article wasn't titled by the author or book name referenced. It was simply a date.

Camellia said...

that clarity business...I keep forgetting about that.

Camellia said...

that clarity business...I keep forgetting about that.