You see it's now time to confess. Things outside of my self still control me. It's the bugaboo haunting me at the moment. Sometimes I win more than others and sometimes I lose even more. It occurs to me as I confess that through my struggles, the best intro for the topic of humility has been found. Because by confessing, you'll find me eating several pieces of humble pie today.Pull up your chair and join me. Yum. This pie tastes good.
Interestingly, despite my inability to keep my promises to myself lately, I am still not reverting to self-bashing. Now that does feel GOOD. But I am still not winning this inner war. Still things outside of me have power. So far, I have yet to wage a strong enough battle.
Carolyn Myss would tell me to "Get a backbone."
"I hear you, Caroline, I hear you."
My confession demonstrates my weakness. My weakness and confusion could, note the operative word here is "could", lead to humiliation. Could. But it doesn't. It's my choice of whether or not to allow my failure to humiliate me or not. And this time, I am saying no to humiliation. Chalk one up to the school of life. That is what is going on here. Nothing more. Nothing less. Certainly nothing to be ashamed of.
And I can make a new promise—a new vow...I can promise myself that I will keep working. I will not give up. Now, that's a promise I think I can keep.
Let's turn our attention to the lesson for today—humiliation.
The only person who allows you to be humiliated is yourself. Do you get what's being said here? Only we can label something as humiliating or embarrassing. No other person can humiliate us. Yes, they be cruel and unkind. But the decision to be humiliated is ours—and only ours to make.
If you find yourself saying things like, "I am humiliated, or I am so embarrassed," then it's likely you are concerned about opinions of others. The good news is you've found your starting point. Begin making decisions for yourself that are not influenced by what others will think about you. Start focusing on your own internal hunches and acting on your own guidance instead of what you think others would like you do.
Wayne Dyer in his book Power of Intention helps us put the opinions of others into perspective: “You’ll find no shortage of opinions directed at you. If you allow them to undermine your self-respect, you’re seeking the respect of others over your own, then you’re abdicating (handing over) yourself.”
Something else Dr. Dyer shared makes sense. “Your reputation is not located in you. It resides in the minds of others.” He goes on to tell us that we have no control over the mind of someone else. What they think is what they think.
And if we are honest with ourselves, it is humanly impossible to please all the people all of the time. A few years ago, when grappling with this very idea, I had a dream.
In the dream I am sobbing. I am heart broken. I am back in college surrounded by the girls who never liked me. In reality, for one semester I lived with a roommate who disliked me and openly shared her feelings. In the middle of my sobbing, I heard a clap of thunder and a loud voice say, "Allyn you cannot be liked by everyone."
The message was powerful. The message changed my life.
Dr. Dyer said, “Leave your reputation for others to debate; it has nothing to do with you.”
Amen. Wayne. Amen.
Would love to hear your comments. Your thoughts and ideas are helpful to others. I promise!
Allyn Evans
http://www.allynevans.com/
http://www.queenpower.com/
http://www.allynevans.blogspot.com/
