Friday, August 29, 2008

Self-Bash Test...Double Dog Dare You to Take It!

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So what did I do to rid myself of self-bashing? It started with recognition—the recognition that I had a mean voice barking inside my head.

Although I can’t tell you the exact date, I can give you range of time that I made this discovery.

Not sure why, but I remember scenes from the day I took the “Do-You-Self-Bash” test. I can see myself walking through the den to my dining room. My dining room wall had floor to ceiling mirrors.

Every time I made the trek from my den to my kitchen, I walked by the mirrors. And every time I walked by the mirrors, I called myself names. I’d been reading a book, sorry but now I don’t remember the author or title. The author talked about the mean voice. The author asked us to take note of how often our mean voice piped up. Yep, I knew I had one, but I didn’t know how insistent and cruel she was until I took the test.

The test. It was simple. For three days we were asked to pay attention to every time the mean voice spoke—how often and what she said.

It only took me less than one day to realize I had a serious problem. My mean voice barked at me almost every thirty seconds. Yes, every thirty seconds.

Something was terribly wrong with that picture. The year was 2002.

You do the math. It took me six years …

Here’s what I’m hoping. That by sharing what I did and learned, we can cut your learning curve by years. There is no guarantee, but there’s always hope.

Next time we’ll delve deeper into this subject.

I love comments!


Carolyn Howard-Johnson said...

Gee, it seems I was just discussing this very thing with a very special online friend. Yes, I believe in affirmations. If we can't look in the mirror and say "I love you," or "Your book is well-written, well-edited, and is going to help/entertain a lot of people," then how can you ask others to read it? Of course, that applies to whatever we happen to do for a living or as an avocation. So let's all get practicing!

Carolyn Howard-Johnson
Author of the multi award-winning HowToDoItFrugally series of books for writers, This Is the Place, Harkening and Tracings

Allyn Evans said...

And having replacement statements is one of the keys to this least initially.

More on this topic soon. :)

Thanks for the comment, Carolyn!

Prill Boyle said...

I love your use of the term "mean voice" (as opposed to "negative self-talk, etc.). After all, isn't that what it is?

One technique I've used to counteract my own self-berating behavior is to ask myself what I would say to my dearest friends if they did (or didn't) do such and such. Invariably, the answer is that I would be honest, but endlessly encouraging.

In other words, I practice--and, believe me, it takes practice--treating myself with the same kindness and support that I give those I love most.