Dare to Pursue your Childhood Dreams

I couldn't resist including this article (with her permission, of course) by Christine Louise Hohlbaum published in her ezine: Powerful Families, Powerful Lives. Keep reading, you'll see why....

"What Dreams May Come (True)"

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "Do one thing every day that scares you." I don't think she was talking about cleaning out the shower drain when she said that. She was an advocate of character-building, a notable force at a time when women's rights were not what they are today.

Periodically, I measure my children's risk tolerance by asking them a simple question. "What scares you?" I typically get an answer about the boogie man who lurks in the dark or that German test coming up in school. But the other day, my affable nine-year-old daughter revealed an inner fear that surprised me. "I am afraid someone will get mad at me."

She'd rather do a ring-and-run by leaving a note of apology on her friend's front step than face the person head on. Her fear of rejection, a normal state of human experience, has come to pass.
Dreams can offset fears so, without trying to force my adult understanding of dreams on my kids, I also ask them what they would like to be when they grow up.

At present, my seven-year-old son would like to be a Judo master and a filmmaker. My daughter remains constant in her wish to be a riding instructor. They are too busy living their childhood to know they are also forming their dreams, the foundation on which the rest of their lives will be built.

Childhood dreams are the house where our souls reside. It is where we live in fearless possibility. It is sad to see paralyzing fear take over my kids, but it is also a necessary process for them to know what the opposite of fearless is. At age nine it never occured to me that I could fail, yet I see in my own daughter the belief that it might actually happen. I periodically get furious with the German school system that points out mistakes more than it celebrates what's right. At every opportunity I try to ask her "What was right about your day?"

What would our world be like if we looked towards the wins and used failure as a mere tool for course correction? What dreams may come true when we move out of burdensome fear and into the sparkling light of weightless courage?

Recently, I placed my hand into the grab bag of my dreams and pulled out "become an actor". At nearly 40, I giggled at the thought, then applied for the casting agency anyway. I promptly got two TV jobs in one week. It took a baby step to create a miracle. It wasn't hard, and it got me to thinking what other dreams I could fulfill.

What are your childhood dreams? Are you living them?

Do one thing that scares you today. It will broaden the circumference of your comfort zone just a little while creating another layer of miracles across the world. Your human potential is limitless. Reach for the stars, then tell us what happened! We'll be celebrating right there with you.

~~Christine Louise Hohlbaum, American author of the forthcoming Power of Slow: 101 Ways to Save Time in Our 24/7 World (fall 2009), Diary of a Mother: Parenting Stories and Other Stuff (2003) and SAHM I Am: Tales of a Stay-at-Home Mom in Europe (2005), has been published in hundreds of publications. When she isn't writing, leading intensive seminars or wiping up messes, she prefers to frolic in the Bavarian countryside near Munich where she lives with her husband and two children. Visit her Web site: http://t.ymlp88.com/bebaaauhuaiahjuafaubjs/click.php.

Allyn Evans
http://www.allynevans.com/
info at allynevans.com

Dare to Seek Out New Challenges

More feedback about this "Doing What Scares You" stuff.

I received a follow up letter from Beth Blair. Remember, she's the one who gave her icebreaker at a Toastmaster's club (1st speech) recently.

"It makes me think, what else can I do well? As I think about it, I realize there is a good chance there is plenty more out there and there are three main reasons I have not attempted to find them (whatever "they" are):

A. I don't believe I can
B. Someone told me I can't and I believed them
C. It never occurred to me to try

I feel like it's time to reassess my life and figure out what direction I'm supposed to go. This is such an exciting time!"

Beth, you've given me much to think about. Thanks for sharing. Would love to hear comments from you about your fears or what you are trying new in 2009.

I've linked you to this video before. It's a good one. If you've never stopped long enough to view it, you'll be glad you did. This is a YouTube video of Libby Saunter, first female, walking the slackline in the picture above.

Allyn Evans
http://www.allynevans.com/
info at allynevans.com

Dare to Be Brave

One night while watching TV, I landed on a reality-based show featuring three talented women who were vying for the title of being the best (in their field). To make it to the final competition, the women had to fly to Europe.

One contestant confessed that she was afraid to fly. Not willing to give up without trying, she made plans to make the trip. On the day of departure, she walked on board the plane, but that's all she could manage to do. Her fear of flying overwhelmed her and she exited the plane. Doing so meant she had to withdraw from the competition.

Watching the scene broke my heart. And I'm sure it broke hers too.

In 2000, I had a fear that stopped me. It was the fear of speaking in public. To cure myself, I joined Toastmasters and eventually (let's just say it didn't happen overnight) solved my problem.

My cyberfriend Beth Blair (Desert Mama) confessed to me not too long ago that she had a similar fear. Here's her latest report:

"I gave my first speech last night and I did GREAT! I was so so nervous driving there but when I got up to speak I felt okay. Then after the first minute or so I became totally relaxed. The best part was everyone laughed when they were supposed to. I received some really, really nice feedback. Thank you for the encouragement! It's an amazing feeling to get up and do something that I have been fearing my entire life."

Yes it is, Beth. Yes it is. I remember playing a scene over and over in my head when I was working so hard to overcome my fears. The scene went like this...

The room would be full of people...at least 50 to 75...and I would walk up to lectern to give my talk. As I approached the lectern, I would turn, look and smile at the audience. I would be calm and relaxed...I would have no stressful reaction (hand shaking, brain freeze, wobbly voice). All would go smoothly and according to plan.

And one day, just as I imagined and believed could happen, the scene unfolded in front of me. I stood at the lectern in front of a group of 50+ women. It worked! It worked!

Today's message is about facing what scares you! Don't let a fear of flying stop you from going to your France.

Instead do something about it....start doing something about it today!

Would love to hear comments from others who have overcome fears and how you did it.

Allyn Evans
http://www.allynevans.com/
http://www.thealertparent.blogspot.com/
info at allynevans.com

Take Off Diverted

I’m ready to confess I’ve been in a long holding pattern.

While in this place, I have read many books and spent hours thinking about what’s next for me and for the organization.

AND NOW FOR THE REST OF THE STORY…

I’ve found yet another Maria Nemeth’s book. The title is: "Mastering Life’s Energies: Simple Steps to a Luminous Life at Work and Play". BTW, I love her work so much I’m considering taking her training/certification classes starting early in 2008.

In the book she asks us, “Are you willing to live your life with clarity, focus, ease and grace?” Do I see a showing of hands? My hand is up. Yes. Yes. Yes. That’s my plan. For the most part, since writing my first book, I have created an easy life for myself.

Check off ease. But what about the other three?

Let’s take clarity—something I haven’t had for about nine months. Actually, I relate the “derailing” to my juror experience. If you are curious, click on the URL below:
That’s when the fog rolled in. Living in fog made me do some bad things (got to blame something or somebody besides me, right?). Being confused meant I made commitments I couldn’t keep. I found myself doing something I rarely did in the past. I broke promises. More times than not, what I thought was a new direction was a step off course. I corrected and adjusted, saying I'm sorry as I plodded along, but still I couldn’t ‘see’. Maria calls it “driving in the fog”.

I continued on anyway trusting something that Maria also says, “When you see clearly what is before you, you will know in your heart what to do.”

I stopped making promises. Obviously, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to make commitments. When you are “driving in fog,” you can be misled by invitations that seem exciting, lucrative or safe simply because when fog sets in your intuitive abilities usually diminish. You go after things for “obvious” reasons and use logic to explain why you are doing something. Using this method gets you do crazy things like: fall for the “get-rich-quick” scheme, “take-the-full-time-position-because-at-least-you’ll-have-money-even-if-you-hate-it” job, or “you-are-crazy-not-to-do-this-because-you-will-miss-out-on-the-gravy-train” opportunity. While “driving in fog” you are more likely to make bad choices. Period. The End. If you are “driving in fog”, it’s time to cease and desist embarking on new endeavors until clarity returns.

How do you solve the “not-seeing-clearly” problem? Maybe I’m not the best person to ask. :) It took me months to overcome the recent storm. But this storm was different. This time I was not tortured by my old fears of the past like:
1. Can I make or create something?
2. What am I supposed to do with my life?
3. How will I earn enough to eat?

Those are issues, I have mastered and overcome. If you are still hanging around in that territory, it’s okay. You can learn to overcome too. Read my first book. I suggest my book because that’s how I turned my life around. I can only advise you from my own experience. The material I wrote about in the book changed my life. (http://www.allynevans.com/books.html).

Then check out other recommending reads (http://queenpower.com/recommended.html)
on our list. If you don't want to buy any of the books, that's okay. Ask your librarian to order them (if they are not in stock at your library). This ways others will benefit too and it doesn't cost you a dime.

Of course, you’ll need to add Maria’s latest book: "Mastering Life Energies" to the list.

BACK TO THE STORY…
This time, my visibility problems didn’t cause me troubles or sadness. Throughout, I felt content. On the other hand, I felt frustrated by my lack of clarity. I knew eventually the fog would lift. What did I do while waiting? I focused on “present moment” living. And in my spare time I read books. I searched for answers and teachers.
And one day the fog lifted. The day was September 21, 2007.

Now I need time to gather my thoughts because I’m about to be off and running! Hate to leave you hanging, but as you might have noticed...the fog just lifted a few days ago!

More later…

Royal blessings and reign on,

Allyn Evans
http://www.allynevans.com/

Check out Nicole’s most recent blog about doing things that make you happy. http://www.myjourneytothequeendom.blogspot.com/.

P.S. If you want to check out my Amazon Short about my juror experience—you know the experience that kicked off the downward spiral—feel free to do so. They cost 49 cents. I’ve enjoyed reading some of the stories by other Amazon Short authors. It’s a wide offering of fiction and nonfiction. Plus you can’t beat the price!

Here’s the link, if you are interested. I’ve been told by reviewers that it is also a good lesson for parents and children.
http://www.amazon.com/Ordinary-People-Perform-Unthinkable-Acts/dp/B000PAU32U/

How May I Serve

New York City. What a fun trip. I had been visiting my sister. My aunt, cousin, niece and another sister joined me.

And then it was almost time to leave. My NYC based sister insisted that I have a massage. "She's really good. It will energize you for the trip. I will not take no for an answer."

"Okay," I agreed even though the idea of having a massage didn't appeal to me.

For some reason I couldn't relax. Frankly, I had been a little on edge throughout the week. Let's just say being in Oklahoma, especially rural Oklahoma, feels a lot safer than walking down a New York sidewalk. I felt more like a warrior and well, let's be honest here, warriors don't get massages.

Massage Lady showed up. The room was prepared and I tried my best to be ready.

NOT.

No matter what I did, I couldn't relax. I wanted the massage to be over and I wanted to go home. About fifteen minutes in, I decided to try another tactic. I decided to focus on something else.

"What," I wondered?

I can't explain it. But I started doing something no warrior would ever do. Or, would She? I started repeating two phrases: "Thy will be done." And, "How may I serve." For forty-five minutes I repeated these phrases.

At the La Guardia airport, I got my marching orders.

The first thing I did upon arrival was to change seats. I had been assigned a middle seat. I wanted to sleep. I wanted a window seat.

"The only one left is all the way in the back," she said, "is that okay?"

I had a three-hour layover in Chicago. "Yes, I'll take it."

The back rows loaded first. Soon my seatmates joined me. They were the non-English speaking Chinese couple I had spotted in the waiting area. We nodded greetings.

After taking off, they asked me where I was going. "Oklahoma City," I said.

"We too," they said. "We too!"

I didn't believe them. They misunderstood me. It was unlikely the only people traveling to Oklahoma City from New York would be seated in the same row. I asked more questions. Slowly enunciating each word, I discovered the man could understand me. He nodded his head and showed me his ticket. Turns out they were going to Oklahoma City to work in a restaurant--he as a chef and she as a waitress.

About halfway to Chicago, I realized my prayers had been answered. Here sitting right next to me was my, "How may I serve" gift.

The two shared their food, gave me candy for my daughter, took pictures of me in Chicago, and made me smile throughout the trip. On the Chicago to Kansas City leg of the flight, they wore white facial masks with holes for their noses, eyes and mouths. I loved watching the expressions of fellow passengers as they tried to figure out what they were wearing.

Before our trip together ended, I showed them how to NOT get a C boarding pass (if you've ever flown Southwest Airlines you know how critical that is on a FULL flight) and helped them not spend hours looking for the International gate they so persistently wanted to find.

When it was time to say goodbye, the woman gave me a beautiful necklace and matching set of earrings. Before going to the ladies room, I made sure they headed out the right door to meet their driver.

As I headed out to the parking garage, I saw my new friends riding up the escalator to the departure level. I waved them down and again pointed to the doors they needed to use. We bid farewell for a second time.

I walked to the parking garage. It didn't take me long to realize I was walking around in circles. Lost, I stopped to ask someone a question. And then I saw my friends again. They were riding up the escalator in the parking garage.

"No. No," I told them. "Come here. I will show you." I decided I needed to escort them to the spot. And I did. We said our final goodbyes.

I think about them often. My prayer. How my prayer was answered. I also wonder if they are happy. There's a part of me that wonders if they made it! I believe they did. The next time I visit the city, which will be in early May or late April (if I'm lucky), I plan to visit them. Guess what I'll be wearing?

Since that experience, though, I haven't been able to drop my new prayer. I am fantastinated by it and now, always looking for my lastest assignment. My newest is a radio show for mothers and daughters called The Mother Daughter Club. I'll share more about it later.

I don't know about you, but I look forward to waking up in the morning to see what's next.

www.allynevans.com
www.queenpower.com
www.talkingallthingswrite.com
www.audiodivas.com